The driver, a middle-aged African-American male, immediately struck up a friendly conversation with us the moment we began loading our suitcases onto the bus. Craig and I were teasing each other, and the driver made some sort of comment about marriage, communication. So Craig told him we were celebrating 40 years this coming June, how much we still enjoyed being together–including the teasing part of our relationship. He laughed with us and then stepped off the bus, watching for others who would need a lift.

Which leads to the next part of this unfolding amazing story: no one else got on. I don’t think Craig and I have ever been the only ones on a shuttle from the rental car return to the airport. Except this one time. Little did we know how important that would be.

Because as soon as we pulled out of the lot, the driver looked at us in his overhead mirror, remarking, “So, you’ve been married that long, huh? I guess you know a little about marriage?”

“Oh, yes,” I said, chuckling, attempting to keep my tone light and non-threatening. “Craig and I used to present marriage seminars too.”

His eyes lit up. “You did? Well, since there’s no one else on this bus, I guess I’m supposed to ask you this question.” He shook his head in obvious surprise and bewilderment at the situation. “I don’t think my wife knows how much I love her. How much I appreciate her and all she is to me. Before I left her this morning, while she was still sleeping, I just stared at her a few moments. Thinking how much I love her. Do you think I should tell her that?”

Craig and I gave each other a quick look, signaling, Is this really happening? Has God really just given us this blessed opportunity?

I told him Craig had been a pastor for over 20 years, and his mouth literally fell open. Clearly, he was a believer. And then Craig and I took turns answering his questions.

“Oh, yes. Your wife will love hearing you say those things to her!”

“You don’t think she’ll think less of me for saying something like that?”

“Absolutely not. The very opposite will happen: she’ll actually think more of you, see you as even more of a man if you can express your feelings to her. It’s men of depth and character–men who are secure in themselves–who can be intimate with their wives in that way.”

We affirmed him: I gave him my perspective as the wife of a man who tells me those cherished messages, and what that means to me, how it blesses me emotionally and spiritually.  Craig challenged him to be pro-active and bold, affirming him as a man if he has the courage to share his heart with his wife.

As we came to the stop where Craig and I needed to get off the bus, the driver literally sprang from his seat and sprinted to us…exclaiming how this was meant to happen. How he couldn’t believe we were the only ones on his bus for this trip. That he was wondering and worrying over those questions this very morning, and he was convinced God had sent us to him. Tears filled his eyes as he marveled how quickly and specifically God had answered his prayers, and in this way. Craig asked if he could pray for him, and then the 3 of us huddled together, holding hands in a holy moment, as Craig asked God to bless our new friend and his wife and to strengthen their marriage.

Embarrassed now by his obvious display of emotions, the driver wiped at the tears on his cheeks. So what did I do? I couldn’t help myself: I was so touched that I reached out and hugged him. A total stranger. A man I’d never met before, and likely won’t ever see again. (Though there’s very much a part of me that so hopes we will–if not in this world, then certainly in heaven!) But can I just tell you how absolutely right that felt? The most natural thing to do after our sweet conversation and intimate fellowship?

Now he was grinning from ear to ear in spite of those tears, so energized. Eager to get home to his wife, and oh…how I’ve imagined the precious time the two of them shared!

Honestly, as Craig and I walked into the airport, we looked at each other and shook our heads. A quote from Cutting for Stone (by Abraham Verghese, p. 648) goes like this: “If ‘ecstasy’ meant the sudden intrusion of the sacred into the ordinary, then it had just happened to me.” That’s it–that’s exactly what we felt. God himself had directly “intruded” into our ordinary trip on a bus. And left us in awe.

Did Craig and I earn that appointment somehow? No. Did we deserve it for being in full-time ministry? No. Is there something inherently special in us that God would use us in this way? No–at least, not any more than there’s something equally special in you. It’s all about the privilege of being used by him, to further his Kingdom. In churches, on the mission field, in your neighborhood and schools, at your places of work, over your kitchen table at dinner, whispered to a child at night as he snuggles under the covers.  Or on a shuttle bus from the rental lot to the airport.

Be on the alert for a Divine Appointment. There’s no advance warning, just a last-minute adjustment to your schedule.

But it will leave you in awe.

My favorite novel from last year? Tough call, but I’ll say Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese. Conjoined twins born to a nun in Ethiopia—causing her death—are adopted by two doctors. It’s an incredibly moving story, so well written, capturing a feel for the land and culture of Ethiopia, and creating characters you don’t want to let go of when the story ends—the number one sign of a great read for me.

Others making my best list from last year:

• State of Wonder by Ann Patchett
• The Orphan Master’s Son by Adam Johnson
• The Cat’s Table by Michael Ondaatje
• In the Shadow of the Banyan by Vaddey Ratner
• The Red Chamber by Pauline A. Chen

Anyone else read Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn? On the best seller list…a creative structure…and it certainly kept me interested and guessing. But that ending? Please. Definitely not buying that over-the-top mess of a conclusion!

I’ll come back to some of last year’s books with synopses later, but here’s a heads-up for a novel I just recently finished: The Secret Keeper by Kate Morton. Very sweet story about Laurel’s quest to understand her mom, Dorothy, and the secret Dorothy keeps from her years in Britain during World War II. Lovingly written with a twist at the end—isn’t that always fun? (Unless the author’s defrauded you; that’s definitely not a fun surprise. But more on that topic later too.)

Standard answer: “No. I don’t do blogs.” Reply spoken with about the same tone as a suggestion to wear stiletto heels, animal print clothes and a tattoo.

So, I still don’t write a blog. Since I’m going to title this a Blob instead. Gathered thoughts, observations, pet peeves, lessons learned, insights from my study of the Word, something that made me laugh and I’m hoping will make you laugh too. But I’m taking myself about as seriously as a recent quip Craig and I heard, an apt definition of far too many blogs: “graffiti with exclamation points.” See, the the message about myself I take in every single time I repeat Psalm 62 and especially verse 9 (and note that I say my memorized verses at least 3 times a week, so the intent’s hammered home, constantly) is this: “Lowborn men are but a breath, and the highborn are but a lie; if weighed on a balance they are nothing; together [we] are only a breath.”

Only a breath. In all of time too, from Adam and Eve to the very end of this age as we know it. One breath is pretty inconsequential, and quite frankly, I realize that includes me. Maybe especially me.

So here’s to Blob 1. My first official attempt at this.

Oh, and I promise to go sparingly on the use of exclamation points. Honestly! They’re so overdone!! Just annoying!!! And don’t you hate it when someone combines question marks with exclamations??!!!

(Sometimes you just have to do that, don’t you?!)

In the past, I think we women have fully agreed with the famous quote by Paul E. Tsongas: “No one on his deathbed ever said, ‘I wish I ‘d spent more time on my business.’” Instead, I think we women have wisely invested our time in what we viewed as inherently of much greater value: relationships. Yet another famous saying states that “we can’t take anything with us” when we die. Oh, but I beg to differ, since we most certainly do; our hearts are forever changed by the deep relationships we’ve invested in, and we “carry” the effects of those relationships with us right into eternity.

So here’s my warning: Don’t be hoodwinked. Tenaciously hold onto what we women have known for generations, understanding that:

• Mary got it right, realizing and grasping that sitting at Jesus’ feet and deepening my relationship with him is a far better use of my time than my number one priority being to climb the corporate ladder
• Making time for dates and deep communication with my husband is invaluable, a rich and wise investment
• Quality and quantity time is irreplaceable to my kids, for investing in their spiritual formation and demonstrating–living–my love for them
• And finally, that my relationships with my friends are cherished gifts that require dedication, effort and that word we keep coming back to…time.

To you single moms, I honor you. Many times, you simply have no choice in these matters. I know you’re struggling to do the best you can in sometimes incredibly tough circumstances. My comments are not directed to you.

I am speaking to married women who are just starting out in their careers. To those who are feeling the first yearnings to hold a newborn. And to those who have little ones at home already, and are feeling intense pressure to succeed and lean in as Sandberg is encouraging us to do.

No. Please, don’t. Don’t settle for the empty promises of the corporate world, for a bigger paycheck, more power, greater prestige. Instead, choose the greater, the wiser, the choice with infinitely more worth.

Instead, embrace pursuing a closer relationship with God. Embrace the investment of a deeper relationship with your husband. Embrace your kids physically, but also emotionally, mentally, spiritually. And embrace the women in your life who offer a quality of relational intimacy that will forever change your heart.

Don’t be fooled. And don’t just lean in, because you’re settling for so much less. Instead, choose to embrace, reaching out and grasping the authentic intimacy of deeply developed relationships.

There are hearts out there waiting to be changed forever by you.